Dear Resident Evil

Mat Paget

Based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks.

I remember our humble beginnings. Seeing you in that magazine, I wanted to say something, but could never think of the words. It was a while before I even got the courage to walk up and look at you on that illustrious shelf of yours. My mother never approved, but that didn’t stop me from wanting you. Learning what truly made you who you were only made me want you more. Eventually, I just couldn’t control myself. I walked up, put my hands around you, and let you into my console… and heart.

Playing you in secret, I knew what I was doing was wrong — at least in the eyes of my mom. But it just felt so right. Those sleepless nights we spent together, just playing, were truly magical. I knew that I would want to play you for the rest of my life. And with subsequent releases, the love I held so dear for you only grew. When you came out with the remake of Resident Evil on the Gamecube, it was like we were just starting to fall in love all over again — truly magical.

The fastest way to my heart

But there’s no denying that my love was the strongest when you gave me Resident Evil 4. We couldn’t keep apart; even when I was away, I’d be thinking of you. I loved you so much that I’ve played through you too many times to count, and I won’t stop any time soon. You were so great that, even as I grew older, you followed me — from the Gamecube to the Wii, and all the way to the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. And I have a feeling that you’ll be following me even further — and I am 100% okay with that.

Then Resident Evil 5 happened. These were hard times for us. I still felt the same, but a lot of people were angry with you; they didn’t understand the love we held for each other. Sure, you had taken a more action-focused approach, but you were still Resident Evil to me — I still loved you. But, nonetheless, this was where things went downhill. Ever since, things just weren’t the same between us — Resident Evil Mercenaries 3D didn’t make anything better.

2012. That was the year. Resident Evil: Revelations released, and I was so very disappointed with you. You tried to be way more than you could be on the 3DS, and we grew frustrated with each other — the Circle Pad Pro we tried to use to make things better didn’t do anything to help, either. I would push the wrong button to reload, wasting a herb, and you were difficult to play in anything but the dark. We just weren’t getting along. At all. A thought popped in my head that if this was the beginning of something new, it would only get worse from here. But I didn’t give that idea a second thought, and looked forward to our future together.

How could you?

Then Operation Raccoon City came about. I was appalled at you; I couldn’t believe what I was playing. You promised me this was just a one-off thing, and I believed you — I had to believe. I looked onward to the next numbered sequel with optimism that drained slowly over the next seven months. Whatever optimism I had left for our future in Resident Evil 6 was quickly dashed upon starting the game, and jumping head first into the long, depressing end to our relationship — more than thirty hours of excruciating heartbreak, to be exact.

I don’t want to talk about all the problems we had in that heart-breaking week in October — because I already did right here. It was a pretty rough time. I had held you in such high regard and you completely burned me. In all honesty, I wasn’t expecting much, but I was expecting more than what you ended up offering. Yes, there was a lot of time that could be spent with you, but that was time that was spent just wallowing in the mess that we had turned into. You just changed too much. But you know what? You didn’t have to change for me to keep loving you.

I used to get excited when I heard my future with Resident Evil. But I can no longer do that. Last year, Resident Evil was just way too mistreated. If you do something to show you care, I might be able to forgive you and move on. But you’ll have to do a lot better than you’ve been doing to get me back. One thing is for certain, things will never be the same.