[REVIEW] Medal Wars

James Davenport
(PC [REVIEWED) 

 A particular tweet stood out to me during the few days I was playing Medal Wars for review.

An anti-joke. What could this possibly have to do with Medal Wars? The game is a humorous, isometric, WWII-era RPG–a tribute to early 90s PC adventures with its MS Paint-esque aesthetic and I-didn’t-know-kbs-went-that-low sound design. A purported jack of all trades, Medal Wars is a game that desperately reaches in every direction it can, but excels in few. Medal Wars is a huge setup and a delightful lack of delivery.

Now, intent matters. A review sets out to judge the game based on what it sets out to do. Here’s the kerfuffle: if Medal Wars was made as is with the aforementioned ignorance of crazy design decisions, then it’s a bit of a disappointing indie title. If Medal Wars does all these things on purpose, then it has glimmers of genius. Or insanity. Probably insanity.

Medal Wars is controlled almost exclusively with the mouse. Shoot with the left button, reload with the right. Move by clicking anywhere on the screen or click and hold for velocity control.

Resident Evil 4 makes its presence known in a few of the primary mechanics. You won’t be able to move while you shoot and upgrades to weapons and armor are available to purchase from a merchant who, disappointingly, is not wearing a trench coat. In Resident Evil 4, this shooting mechanic works. It builds between the player character and the swarm of enemies quickly approaching. It respects a weapon as what it is: a controlled explosion, not something so easily wielded as many a space marine have led us to believe. In Medal Wars, this mechanic only serves to piss you off. Eventually, enemies appear in swarms, coming from every direction off-screen or obscured by geometry. Precision isn’t really an option. You’ll click in a panicked frenzy, inducing headshots and the trailer’s biggest footnote: footshots. But, more often than not, you’ll click just behind or before an enemy and move your character into a walking animation; interruptible, yes, but time-consuming enough and so easy to do, that your character’s health will undeniably suffer. And when you die, you’re transported directly back to home base, at which point a two or three minute trek will be required to return to the task at hand. And you’ll probably make such treks many, many times.

Death, more often than not, is determined by the game’s design, not player skill. Die enough though, and you’ll most likely level up. Whether or not this makes you stronger is a mystery to me. What the experience bar actually provides other than fireworks and a cute soundbite remains unknown. Which, in my opinion, is one of the funniest aspects of the game.

Yes, Medal Wars touts itself as funny. The game’s aforementioned flaws might be somewhat forgivable were this true. Problem is, the writing never strikes a healthy balance. It employs humor of the absolutes, in which a joke either reaches too far or doesn’t reach at all.

Collectibles. They are sold for money. Video games.

There is poking fun at stereotypes, a complex–if you make it–commentary on game, film, and historical tropes. But they never go very far, though I doubt the intent to do so was ever there. The game, as an aesthetic homage to gaming of yore, has a responsibility to say something about its influences, but rather than iterate, it reiterates over and over, instilling suspicious of malicious intent. The insanity rising.

There’s a man of espionage who dresses up as rocks and ladies, oblivious to his own stupidity. Fun, the first three times or so. Then there’s the sadly unsurprising and troublesome portrayal of a female character, a red-headed bombshell that has large, animated breasts. The player character can’t seem to resist related punnery. Imagine that.

Medal Wars is an incredibly endearing game. Nearly every avenue of the design is invigorated with a fierce sincerity and respect for gaming’s roots. But the final product is so matter of fact, so blatantly riddled with baffling design, elementary typos, and redundant humor, that the game, despite its spirit, falls as deadpan as an anti-joke.

The problem is, I really like anti-jokes.

Medal Wars, despite its flaws, has an ambivalent charm. I’m uncomfortable with this game, but only because I kind of, sort of, maybe like it at times. Sadly, not nearly enough to recommend it to anyone I don’t know better than myself.